Man's Gardening Frenemy: Nettles

Photo credit John Tann (det)

While weeding my garden beds this spring, I discovered a little nettle plant in the path and pointed it out to my wife Rachel. Rachel then decided it would be a good idea to point it out to our children, so they would know what nettles look like and be able to avoid getting stung.

I agreed, so we called the kids over and I got to play Dad the Science Lecturer, one of my favorite roles.

DAD THE SCIENCE LECTURER: “See this here, children? This is a nettle, known in Latin as Holicow datstings.”

CHILD #1: “Can you eat it?”

DAD THE SCIENCE LECTURER: “Yes, but don’t touch it! You have to cook it to disable the stings. It would hurt if you touched it now.”

CHILD #2: “I want to touch it!”

MOM: “No, darling – don’t touch it. They really, really sting!”

DAD THE SCIENCE LECTURER: “That’s right. Take a closer look. See the little hairs on the leaves? They’re like needles – like going to the doctor for a shot.”

CHILD #3: “I also want to touch it. It won’t hurt me.”

MOM: “Yes it will! Don’t touch it!”

DAD THE SCIENCE LECTURER: “You know, if you really want to know why you shouldn’t touch it… maybe you should touch it, just a little – for science – and you can see how bad it stings.”

MOM: “I don’t know if that’s a good…”

CHILD #4: “Look, I can touch it!” (touches it) “OWWWWWWW!!!”

DAD THE SCIENCE LECTURER: “There, now – that’s why you shouldn’t touch nettles! See?”

CHILD #1: (touching the nettle) “OWWWWW!!!”

MOM: “Look, Child #1… you saw Child #4 touch the nettles and get hurt… why did you touch it too?”

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